Work Life Coaching Program

IS BALANCE POSSIBLE?

Husband accepted a CEO position and relocated his family to New York. His wife could not adjust to NY and wants to move back.

After completing the Harvard Business School John married his sweetheart Nancy. They were both happy. Both had great jobs and with help from their parents were raising twins’ girls. Their life was wonderful until one day JOHN RECEIVED A CEO JOB OFFER from a highly respected European financial company. His offer was to open a first US office in NY with goal to build an American presence for the company. The salary will be almost twice of what he makes now. 

This opportunity was a “dream come true job” for John. He was ready to accept the new challenge immediately. But... in Chicago he had a happy life with Nancy and their four-year-old daughters. She enjoyed her work. Both parents were involved with the twins. It was very difficult to leave everything behind and start from the beginning in a new city.

To his surprise Nancy was enthusiastic and agreed to move to NY. John accepted the offer and MOVED THE FAMILY TO NY. Nancy decided to stay at home and take care of the children until they got older. But… only after three months of their life in NY NANCY STARTED TO DOUBT THEIR MOVE. She had a difficult time to adjust to a new setting. The most difficult part was the situation with the girls. In Chicago they spent time with John's and Nancy’s parents. The girls were missing their grandparents. Nancy could not imagine sending the girls to day care. Being a stay home mom was new to Nancy. In Chicago she had a management position that motivated her to get up, to dress and work with people all day. In NY she was all day at home.

John suggested that she get a part time job, just to leave the house and to meet new people. She was not interested in part time or temporary jobs.  She refused to do that. Maybe a daycare for kids? They tried. It did not go well. The couple employed a nanny to work at their home. John wanted to give Nancy some free time to explore the city, go to the gym and meet new friends. But that did not work either. Nancy did not want to explore NY on her own. She was fulfilling her day with activities for children. She was missing her friends and family.

Nancy started to travel back to Chicago frequently. Their communication started to suffer. John was afraid that Nancy would want to move back to Chicago permanently.

In the meantime, John was working long hours. New York’s market is highly competitive. For John to meet his company’s business goals required enormous efforts.

He was worrying and was losing sleep at night, especially when Nancy was with the girls in Chicago. It had a negative affect on his job performance. Despite all, he was determined to build his management team that will allow him to decrease his travel to Europe and make time for his family. 

Until then, John tried to spend every free minute he had with girls and Nancy. However, their RELATIONSHIP WAS GETTING WORSE.

John could not stop thinking: How he messed up his relationship with Nancy?  How he can motivate her to find herself in NY?

What did he need to do differently to gain back warm feelings with his family?

If Nancy wants to return to Chicago should he quit his dream job? And if yes, would this bring his relationship with Nancy back to normal?

WHAT IF HE WILL LOSE BOTH JOB AND MARRIAGE?

John reached out to me for help as an Executive Coach. I discussed with John his current situation at work and home. I met with Nancy.

There is no simple answer to Johns questions. There is no miracle. You can’t just snap your fingers to be successful and happy. It is a process. It is creative thinking. It is continuous efforts.

John created his new plan of actions.

First, he decided to talk to his team about his challenges at home. He received total support and understanding. Then he introduced Nancy to his colleagues. They invited her to their next weekly business meeting. As Nancy joined her first meeting, she gave her feedback on the business issue they were working with. She made the team to look on the problem from a different point of view. Since that time, she informally became part of Johns team. Consequently, JOHN’S BUSINESS GOALS BECAME IMPORTANT TO NANCY.

At one of the meetings John’s colleague brought his mom, new to NY to watch girls during their meeting. She was happy to spend time with the girls. She asked if she can take them to Central park one day. Nancy wanted to help this older lady to deal with her loneliness. Besides, she liked to see her playing with girls. Eventually she became their babysitter.

Life for John was far from perfect.  Nancy still missed Chicago. But “ice’ started to melt. She was more alive. One morning when both were running in the park, Nancy mentioned that she started to look for their first home in New York. This gave John a big boost of energy! Now he can deal with challenges at work.  He learned how to cherish Nancy and never let her down.

BALANCE FOR JOHN BECAME POSSIBLE.

John was extremely thankful to me… I reminded him that he did everything on his own. Being his Executive Coach, I only helped him to stop his doubts and to start believing himself. 

He gained confidence and began implementing his plan step by step.