SMART OR PRETTY?
Tips for professional women.
Tips for professional women
One time after my presentation I received a question from the audience. A young lady asked me a question “What would you suggest I do? I just graduated college. Should I concentrate on building my career or should I start the family with my boyfriend of three years from college?” The question was interesting, and I want to share my response.
There is no right or wrong decision here. YOU MUST DECIDE ON WHATEVER WORKS BEST FOR YOU.
In the past for a woman being pretty was important. The prettier woman had a better chance to marry a good husband. After marriage her life most likely will transition to stay at home and to take care of the house and family. This tradition has long passed. Today a man wants to have not only a pretty woman, but healthy and physically fit. He wants her to be smart and to have a good career.
If you’re in your early twenties and found a person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you can stay in relationship.
- You can have COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP, GET ENGAGED OR MARRIED. If you decide that you want to establish your career before you have children, you can do it. You must put everything on the table and discuss with you partner. If he loves you, he will respect and support your decision.
- You can have children earlier. You can raise your children at a younger age. Once they go to school you will have plenty of time for your career. You can continue your education, or you can go to work. By that time, you will have more life experience and have a better understanding what is best for you and your family.
You can get your higher degree, get a good job and then search for your love partner. Logically it is harder to find your partner with age. It might take longer. However, if you are dedicated eventually you will find your love.
Some women prefer to be INDEPENDENT. They don’t want to have children. They want to have freedom to travel and to enjoy life on their own, like my client Mary.
Mary is already established businesswoman. Since childhood she knew that career is what she dreamed of. She didn’t want family. She didn’t want to have children. Mary started her own business. She was dedicated and worked hard to make her company successful. She traveled around the world, stayed fit and was happy. But lately she feels that her career alone does not give her satisfaction. She wants a family. She wants to have a child. It is late in her biological life to give birth to a child. But she still has time and energy to raise a child. After long time in planning Mary adopted a boy from her homeland Brazil. She could not be happier.
Susan was my client for two years. After grad school she decided to build her career. Susan devoted her entire time to work. She has been promoted to higher positions. Today she is successful Bank officer and enjoys her achievements. One day she came to my office to announce that she is getting married. She knows her man only three months. When I questioned her decision, she reminded me that she is forty and her biological clock is ticking. Despite warning from her family and friends about her being rushed to marry the man she hardy knows, Susan got married. The very next year she became a mother of a beautiful girl. After three years of marriage her life became a nightmare. Her husband who was a stay home dad filed for a divorce clamming child support and life alimony. Her life became a constant fight in court with her ex-husband.
WE WOMEN ARE STRONG. WE CAN DO ALL!
Victoria was married for twelve years. Both her and her husband built great careers. They have two children. I was Victoria’s Executive Coach in the past for several years. One day I received call from her, and she asked me to visit her in the hospital. I rushed to see her.
I know she was working hard. She was an Executive for a biotech company. As business grew Victoria’s role and responsibility grew as well. It was harder to make time for kids and their after-school activities. She worked long hours in the office. She travelled frequently. Despite her work she wanted to give her family her attention. She tried to help her children with their homework and after school activities.
She liked to cook and enjoyed preparing dinner for her family at nights when she managed to come home earlier. By the time everything was done she was totally exhausted. There was no time nor energy left to enjoy her husband. The romance was gone. Her dress didn’t project her being fit.
Victoria had a heart attack. She was in the hospital bed pale but calm. The first thing that she told me “I have answers to your questions. Not only I have time to think about the answers I am making time to live my new life. I need you to help me to implement and to not walk away from my plan. I want to be healthy and happy again. I want to gain balance in my life.”
I gave her a hug. I knew she is on her way to a better part of her life.
You don’t have to wait to add harmony to your life until you are sick.
You can do whatever you want. You can accomplish anything you plan if you LIVE A BALANCED LIFE.
Involve your family, your friends to help you to stay balanced. Hire professional help if it’s getting tough.
You are a WOMAN.
YOU ARE SMART AND PRETTY!