RULES FOR BUSINESS-LIFE PARTNERS

Did you ever see a couple, the owners of a café who are working together in harmony, making you welcome and creating a warm atmosphere? … They are fulfilling each other. 
There are many couples who tried working together … and failed. Especially if they’re starting a new business. Why is it so difficult? What can they do to make it right?

If you are business partners or planning to start a business together you can learn valuable lessons from my guests, Jimmy and Carol, a married couple and lifelong business partners. 

Jimmy is 82 and Carol is 81. They have been married for over 55 years and together they raised their three children. They are business partners. They owned and managed a construction business for 54 years as general contractors.  Today their three adult sons took over their business giving them comfort and freedom to cruise around the world. 
I asked how they managed to be so lucky. “If you are to talk to a young couple that start their business together what will you advise them?” This is what I learned.

Jimmy said: “Owning your business it is like owning a baby that never grows up and constantly needs your attention. You must accept this and be calm and focus on one problem at a time.”
Then Carol added: “You must separate business from your personal life. You should have two zones, even if different corners in the same room.” Businesses create problems. It’s difficult not to talk with your partner about a problem after work. Make it an effort. Stop and do not think about your business at home just concentrate on your personal life.

Do not talk business in your bedroom. Keep your bedroom as your sacred place for your souls. Create time for romance, admire and love each other. It will fulfill your hearts. You will get closer with every special moment. Then the next day you will be ready and eager to get back to your business and attack your problems.
Don’t quit your rule! Not for a day. Not even for an hour. Don’t exchange that tender moment for a business discussion. If you quit once, you will quite again. Then you will quit your rule. This is the first and the most important challenge that you need to resolve and you both must stay committed.

Rule #1. To achieve success, you must separate your business from your personal life. This is the first challenge that you must conquer and be good at it.

Carol passionately continued her story, - “I met Jimmy when he already started his business. I joined him as a bookkeeper. Three months after our marriage we lost our big client, which was 80% of our company. This forced me to return my beautiful dress that I bought a day before losing the business and used that money for food. My husband used his savings to take care of all the bills. That was hard but a most valuable lesson for us. We learned that we needed to create an emergency fund.”
When you are young and have no or little money to start your business you are taking a financial risk. You need to create an emergency fund for a minimum of 3 months of your living cost. You can start saving from your very first income. That will give you a safety net in the case you have no sales or lose your client.

Rule #2 Create emergency funds from the start of your business. 

You must run your business correctly and strictly as a business. “When you are starting your business, you must use all talents efficiently. You don’t want to think about your titles or roles. But you should discuss and agree on who is the boss. In my case my husband was. But if you are starting from the very beginning it could be either of you. After you assign two main roles, you can add other roles temporarily until you are ready to hire help.” – said Carol. 

Rule #3 Assign roles for each of you in the company and sign it in writing. Remember there is only one CEO. Agree on terms and don’t change them. 

Jimmy pointed out: “Often before marriage to protect the assets people sign prenup agreements. Before starting your business, you must sign a ‘prenup’ in your business partnership as well. You need to agree on how you will split your business assets or debts in the case you are separating from the company and/or from your personal relationship.”
Ironically a legal name for this agreement is “The Business Divorce”. It is better to do that before you build your business. You are not emotional at that time and can apply a good judgment. Even with an agreement, divorcing from a business is one of the most painful events any business owners can experience.

Rule # 4 Sign “The Business Divorce” agreement prior to starting your business. 

I had listened to them both and truly admire their love and caring. Carol reminded Jimmy about the dance class at 3pm. “We both love to dance. We are dancing together all of our life still today. We dance for a few hours at least once a week. Dancing is our physical activity that allows us to look at each eye and fall in love all over again.”
I was watching them dancing that evening. They both moved in harmony gliding on the dance floor. It was hard to believe that they were in their 80s.

Rule #5 Find one physical activity that you both like and do it together regularly.  This will keep you healthy and happy.

I was curious on how they raised their children.  “We both wanted a family. I love to be a mom. I was better with children than my husband. I spent as much time as I could during the week while my husband worked. For us, weekends were a time to relax. We tried to do one thing together as a family, which was not always possible.”

Rule #6 Decide before you start your family on how you will raise your children. 

What is the secret of your marriage? Carol said it is giving and taking. You always must give in order to receive. She also believes that couples should have similar interests and similar values. As you get older it gets difficult to enjoy spending time together. People are getting stubborn in their own way. But if they have similar interests then staying together is pleasant. It helps them to stick together, to love each other, and to be faithful.

OVERALL rule: Happy married couple develop a successful business. Choose your life partner carefully.

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